Your name's not down, you're not coming in...

The guestlist and the drama that comes with it is one of the things I've really been dreading about organising our wedding.

People are polite but when other people aren't having a good time, I don't have a good time.

I'm that hostess that runs around, not enjoying the party herself, refilling drinks, changing the music to the whims of my guests some of whom I probably don't even like but are just jolly well impressed that they turned up.

This makes constructing our guest list a bit of a nightmare.

Take my dad for example. I love my dad, I want him there to give me away and do all the "daddy" type things. My mum died a few years ago and since then he's met a lady who I wouldn't necessarily pick for him and who I wouldn't say I'm overly keen on. But I'm always polite and there is no way I wouldn't invite her....

it's her daughters I have an issue with.

Her two daughters are... horrific to say the least. I won't get into petty name calling or relaying any of the abuse that they hurl at my dad. But needless to say I won't be inviting them, G has said under no circumstances am I to invite them, I'm happy with that but is my dad going to suffer because of it?

I can see the argument now

Dad's GF - "Your daughter hasn't invited X & Y!"
Dad - Oh! I'm sure it's an oversight let me check...*texts me*
Me (via text) - NO WAY! I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM
Dad - "They are trying to keep it quite small etc so that's why. Even G's first primary school teacher hasn't got an invite."
Dad's GF - "HUMPH! Well, considering they will be step-sisters one day I find that very rude AND you're paying towards that wedding so you should know exactly who is coming... your daughters are so selfish/spoilt/demonic. *Continue barrage of abuse until my dad wanders down the pub*

That is just ONE of the myriad of issues that we will have. There is the awkwardness between G's dad, mum and her new partner (I say "new" they've been together 14 years!) and how they can't be in the same room together...

There's the three best friends from my hometown who I grew up, have done eeverything with together who all HATE each others guts because someone slept with someone's brother...

Then we have my Godmother who my dad briefly had a "thing" with after my mum died who my dad's girlfriend has banned him from seeing. I'm the first to admit, like a child, I threw a spanner along with my sister in the works of that relationship (With VERY good reason) but she's MY godmother and I want to invite her..

Then there is the whole issue of "Who gets to sit at the top table?" Does my sister take the place of Mother-of-the-Bride? Does my dad's girlfriend go there? Can I just cut it out entirely... what is the ettiquette for general family disorder?

I think, like any great piece of literature, the guestlist will be written, rewritten, written again, screwed up and used to light some sort of fire and then randomly chosen out of a hat...

If I can get through the entire wedding without a single fist-fight... I will consider it a roaring success...