"I will be thin! I will be thin! I will be thin!"

Like all other things bridal and girly I've never been over the top about my looks.

I'm not a bad looking girl. I have a good-ish figure if a little on the heavy side nowadays but a spot of make up and I "scrub up well" to quote G.

So after we first got engaged and after realising that I'd put more weight on than I realised I decided to go on my first ever diet in January this year.

Rather than count calories and be a complete bore (Celery is 12 calories... ) I thought I'd join a local group and try it that way. So I toddled along to my local Slimming World club run by a lovely lady called Fiona.

And, for a while, I was really successful shedding nearly two stone in about four months. My ideal weight was another 2 stone off but then things started to wane a bit. We entered the house buying process and ended up distracted and with late nights and eating take aways I bowed out of my little group thinking "I'll be fine!" on my own.

Since then I also gave up smoking. My 12 year, 20/40 a day habit that was a pain to break. Putting weight on was inevitable and shock horror last night I weighed myself to see I'd put about half the weight back on (eep!)

Now, in my defence I have carried on many of the habits that I learnt and I believe this has prevented me from putting all the weight back on. I no longer drink full fat fizzy drinks, I only eat fat free yoghurt, I drink a helluva lot of green tea, if we go to a fast food restaurant I know what I can and can't have etc.

It's just the planning that lets me down. The long day at work, come home and I can't be bothered to come up with anything so it's kebab, pizza, whatever is in the fridge again.

So with a heavy heart and dreams of getting my waistline back I am rejoining Slimming World on Thursday.

I'm a little bit nervous but I'm quite keen, particularly after quitting smoking as well. Quitting smoking was something I never thought in a million years I'd be able to do but I did.

These little changes I've all thought at the time I'm doing it for my health, long term etc etc etc and I've come to realise this morning that all of them are about the photos.

Yes, I know... shallow as that may seem but losing weight to look like a filmstar in my dress, quitting smoking is mainly so I can have dental implants... it's all because I want to look amazing in the pictures.

Maybe I'm more girly girl than I thought?