Well that's a surprise...

We've actually started looking at things! Yay!

We've got a meeting with a potential photographer tonight. After scouring the Internet and speaking to people (and seeing a lot of terrible photographs) I've finally found one up to my high standards and we're meeting them tonight for a chat and to talk shop.

One of the things I've sat down and really thought about is the lasting things from the day itself. I've come to three conclusions of what is "important" and has longevity.

1) Photographs - My sister got married back in 1989. She had a Harrods antique silk and lace dress, she had the most gorgeous headress made from young white roses, her hair and make up were perfect. She and her groom (now my brother-in-law 22 years later...) decided to pick a photographer based on price rather than gut instinct. To this day she still regrets her choice of photographer. Personally I can't see anything wrong with her photos but she moans and complains about them quite regularly. In addition photographs will probably last longer than we will and they will be passed down through the family.

2) Wedding Rings - My engagement ring wasn't expensive. It's not diamond and it's not huge. It's got a gorgeous sapphire in it that G and I picked out together the day after we got engaged when on holiday in Rhodes. I picked it specifically because the blue of the sapphire was light and reminded me of the beach where he proposed and his blue eyes. Wedding bands do not mean a lot but they are a constant reminder of your connection to someone. Again, these will be passed down through the family.

3) The Marriage - No wedding is worth the stress and hassle that destroys a relationship. Watching countless programmes recently on Don't Tell The Bride, Four Weddings, Bridezillas etc it seems to me that so many women get OBSESSED over the minute details of their big day. The whole reason that I started this blog is that is not the person who I am... but I can see how it can get like that. Along the way I'll just have to remember that it is JUST A DAY. Yes, it's an important day. However it is JUST A DAY.

In other news I went to a festival this weekend with my best friend and came back to find my fiance hadn't realised that the oven was switched off at the wall so had been eating cold and frozen food thinking the oven was broken. And had spent a shedload of money on a vintage Vespa I didn't even know he wanted....

Needless to say he's not being left alone again for a while...

It's all a question of balance...

Life is all about balance. You balance your money, you balance your relationships, you balance work and play, you balance everything.

Balance at the moment is something I'm finding could be a problem in the months to come.

I have a very busy life. I don't have millions of friends, I don't have loads of extra activities I do but day to day living, even without having any kids or anything, I don't have enough hours in the day.

At the moment I have a full time job which I really enjoy but I find incredibly stressful and soul-destroying at times, I have a fiance who I love to pieces but does tend to need caring for and entertaining, I have a dream to ressurect a once promising, and now ailing, writing/journalism career, I have a new house which I'm slowly but surely trying to get just right... and that's even before I start to organise a wedding.

So my question to you is this, how do you prioritise things in your life when they are all as important as each other?

Take my home for example. My home is my castle (ok, slight bastardisation on a saying there but it works for this context). I want it to be somewhere I can come home, kick back and relax. It's almost there but the teeny weeny little things that make it home are either a) going to cost me money or b) take time to do. When do I do all this? At the weekend?

Then there's my ailing writing career. It was once my only goal in life to be a journalist or reporter. Everything else meant nothing to me, to the point I never thought I'd meet anybody or even get married. I thought I'd move back to London get a job and be editor of my own magazine within three years. Life hasn't worked out like that but things recently have made me realise I shouldn't ever give up on that dream. In fact someone showed me the last few days that an opportunity can come along when you least expect it...

My job, well, as I mentioned I love it but it's stressful, it's time consuming and, lastly, it's moving. I currently have about an hour's commute in the morning but the majority of that is sat at the train station waiting for my connecting train drinking a latte and tweeting. It's about 10 miles from my house and close to the station. Next year we're moving offices two counties away and turning my hour and a half commute into a three an half hour commute. This could either be super beneficial (Time on the train to write, to plan etc) or super soul-detroying (My fiance works shifts including every other weekend so less time with him, it's WAY more expensive and will make my weekly commute almost 20 hours.

So how do you prioritise things? Where can I trim stuff out of my life to make things more simple? Maybe, I should listen to my words here and go and do something to make my day a little less busy....

The Odd Couple

So G and I have been living in our house for over a month now. He was away working for a couple of weeks just after we moved in so it's only about now that we are starting to "settle in".

G and I have lived together pretty much solidly since we got together. About three months into our relationship, I was living with my dad at the time, he came and stayed for a month. Then when my dad decided to move in with his girlfriend I went to live (rent free, Oh I miss that!) with his dad.

G is a real homebody and has never lived away from home before and when we lived with his dad he was super house proud.
Me, I'd lived away from home and am utterly renown for leaving stuff everywhere. I'm usually super messy and super cluttered. If it can be done tomorrow I'll do it the day after kind of thing.

Wow, that's certainly different now.

He's been off work the last couple of days and whilst he was away I got myself into a real routine. Every morning I'll open all the curtains, put away the washing up that had been left to dry over night, maybe even put a laundry load on, change the bed on Saturday.

I came home yesterday to find all the curtains shut, he's sat in his pants and he turned around and asked me what we were having for dinner tonight.

Eeep!

Luckily he put his clothes on and opened the curtains and we ordered Chinese. However it begs the question of how much of his "house proudness" was actually just his dad cleaning up after him.

I think the moment my doubts started was after we moved in he decided to do some washing. He put his clothes in, set the washing machine and as he hung them out started moaning about how they smelt damp and mouldy.

We had only just moved in and I asked him had he checked to see if the washing machine needed cleaning and if he had used fabric softener...he then asked me what fabric softener was!

Don't get me wrong I never expected him to be a super clean neat freak (I doubt I'd love him as much if he was) but I imagine it'll be like training a puppy. A long lengthy process and he might pee on the carpet a couple of times.

So, wish me luck... not only am I the Anti-Bride but now I'm the Anti-Housewife as well.... I'll keep you posted on any new tricks he learns...

"Erm... you know you said you'd marry me...?"

So, as I mentioned in my first post, my fiance and I decided to wait until we were settled in our new house before we would start making plans.

My fiance is *THE* greatest. I have never met anybody who can make me laugh as much as him. I don't even mind that on our first date we both got really drunk, he puked up half a bottle of Sailor Jerry's I fed him on my carpet and then ended up sleeping on my dad's couch, in fact it totally endeared me to him.

The thing is he's what you'd call a "simple man" (No I don't mean he's thick!) with simple needs.

In true random G style, all the wedding is to him is that bit of paper that says we're married. He's not religious and isn't really bothered about what "God" were to think, he's not too fussed about making a show about our love because he's quite private about that and he doesn't drink as much as he used to so the stag nights not even that important.

He's basically said we'll "do it on the cheap" and not "take any money from your dad". Now normally I'd be inclined to agree with this but over the last 12 months my eye has started to be drawn to frilly things. Four Weddings is now a MUST SEE programme instead of Newsnight.. and Don't Tell The Bride... well, that gives me nightmares now.

So last night I decided to bring up the subject of "Can we start organising now?" It seems SO stupid that I would feel embarrassed and shy to talk about something that he's already agreed to... but I did and he said that it's fine.

Unfortunatley he's given me the following points:

Try not to spend over £500 (Erm, the average UK wedding now costs around £25,000!) though I believe this may be a joke,
NO CHURCHES,
Preferably get the buffet food from Iceland,
Can't be in the summer because he'll get all sweaty,
Possibility of him wearing a Buzz Lightyear Suit for the ceremony,
He won't be doing any speeches...

He then went on to reaffirm the point that this was "my day" and he was just there to awkwardly do his non-smile (honestly it's ruined friends wedding snaps) and make sure he can carry me home at the end of it (due to excessive amounts of champagne I'd imagine?)

But the thing is it's not just "my day". I am a bit of an attention seeker I admit but at the same time when the spotlight is on me I then flee like fat kid from a Weight Watchers meeting.

I think it's going to have to be a case of easing him into it. Making it seem like he's making decisions and then listening to him thoroughly when he does object to something. I haven't necessarily ever been particularly interested in weddings but my way of thinking is that I'm only going to do this once so I might as well make the most of it.

So, I've been told I can start planning with no budget really set, no indiccation of dates I can do or anything... this should be easy..